Hey April.

Eh. wait. It is still March. Tomorrow is gonna be a new month.

First day of school after the mid semester break. Yeah, am so not in the zone yet.

I dyed my hair jet black and I am still very much surprised every time I look in the mirror. So not used to it.

Heck, that is one very vain update.

Have a good month ahead you all!

It is a gloomy day for everyone today

It's a mystery of the modern world. So many questions left unanswered. I just hope the people on board didn't suffer much and their family will be strong in the midst all this. And for the rest of us, don't be a keyboard warrior.

image courtesy of www.ibtimes.co.uk

FYI: interesting article to read here http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/03/17/world/asia/search-for-flight-370.html

Midnight rambling

Times like this when the school holiday starts, I just wanna go into a phase in which I will be doing absolutely nothing. Just lying on the bed and stare at the fan on the ceiling. Total solitude.

But I can't help to browse through Facebook and Instagram. In the end, more things clouded my mind. Cess.

Anyway, I am hungry now. Had early dinner and when I am about to sleep, the stomach calls for food. Oh no no no! Biar lah lapar yang penting jangan gumuk. Hahaha.

Baiklah. Itu saja. Selamat malam

Berapa la ko dapat SPM?

The whole nation went on a "comparing" frenzy today. Yes! It's the time when how many A(ss) you get to prove your worth in this cruel world. But hey don't worry it will subsides in a year or two or rather when you start working.

How many A(ss) doesn't really matter these days. Well at least for me. It's more to how you grow as a person. Some people really grown to be an "ass". Scoring well in your academics doesn't really guarantee you a good life ahead. Some survived, some don't. Some went crazy, some just died. Yeah, like for real. That's why again my point, to really live to be a well balanced human being is SO important.

And again the habit of comparison irks me a lot. 

"Anak si anu dapat begini2 banyak A oh"

"Sekolah si anu punya peratusan A lebih banyak oh banding sekolah si anu"

"Tu la ko nda belajar betul betul, tinguk teda A pun result ko"

And the situation goes and on and on. Can't you just swallow in the fact that some are smart and some are smart in other things. Take the result as a fact and not as a statistic.

"Congrats for scoring 100 million A(ss) in your SPM, now you can be doctor"

"Congrats for scoring 7trillion A(ss) in your SPM, now you can go oberseeees"

Doctor, studying abroad and what not. So cliche. Not all straight A students wants to study medicine mind you. Do what you love! Go on live your life. Just don't start comparing and ridicule those who decide (or rather just can go) to Skill Development institutions like Polytechnics. 

Everyone has their own path in their life. Stop comparing and just live your life properly. Just try be human in your own way. 

I have lived to be a product of comparison to others and being a straight A(ss) student all the way until I crumble in under the pressure when I was in uni. This has taught me to be human and I am so driven to inspire others not to be in the situation I was before.

Let these young kids be happy with what they are learning. These are the happy faces of my students during a science class activity.

Parents, family and friends, don't compare their exam results. Inspiring them is a better way.

Mentally exhausted

Today is the day i felt so nervous and restless about something. Like ever. I was more calm during my wedding (even tho that time i was an amotional wreck). Today is the competition of the puisi dan lagu thingy. 

For this week, i am assigned to be the chaperon for the MSSB Barat team for Tuaran district and also the jurulatih/guru pengiring for the Puisi & Lagu team (but i think i also serve as the manager of the team). I am still very much pissed with some of the people who are supposed to help in managing the group but i ended up doing everything myself. Sakit jiwa betul gotta deal with this people.

My day started out early by helping the students to get ready... aaaaatt the same time, the documents for the team isn't ready because of "inefficient" people i have to work with. Itu the other teacher who is supposed to help me pigi baca newspaper lagi like nothing important to do. Mau marah but the teacher is as old as my dad. Aiya....

Then being a first timer, we dont really have a clue of what is coming our way. Organizer pun nda cukup ready. Never notify us that they don't provide guitar amp. (Insert cursing words here). I was so anxious waiting for my sister to be the backup help to hantar the amp from home to the competition venue.

The result of the competition: 

We didnt get any placing but we did win the Best Song category. As expected, we don't really score good marks on the puisi side (what do you expect a Science teacher can write good sajak ???) more room to improve...hey not bad for a first timer, eh? 

And although the costume mark wasn't that big but we did capture everyone's attention by showing up with nice costumes and not the cliche "melayu cina india combo". Tidak sia sia i put effort on that and jahit the kain sarung for the girls. These days no such thing as you can claim the expenses from school, all sendirian berhad. Tsk tsk tsk!

Such a learning experience for the team and myself too. Tomorrow back to chaperoning. Sigh. Last and final day though. So yeay la juga.

Wednesday in Lent

Last year, I decided to be on a meat-less diet on Lent. I succeeded. But it was hard. For sure. This year, I can't seem to do it. I manage only for the first 3 days and now I am only on Wednesday and Friday meatless day diet. Perhaps should pray more and do more charity. Fasting alone for food isn't really what Lent is all about right?

Anyway, my timeline for twitter and facebook is all about the MH370, with constantly new theories and news about the Vanishing Flight. I just feel that rather than copying and pasting #prayforMH370 over and over again on your status like this

#prayforMH370
#prayforMH370
#prayforMH370
#prayforMH370
#prayforMH370

or with some selfie and a hashtag #prayforMH370 ( like WTF! )

I think it is better for us to really actually pray and not some prayers over copying and pasting. I wonder how many person do ACTUALLY pray when they post that kind of status. Oh well.

Wednesday used to be the day when I share about wedding stuff. I think I need to get back to that routine. It makes me happy!

So, the bride-to-be, do check out this site called The Pretty Blog

photo from theprettyblog.com

Pretty awesome stuff they have there. Especially the printables. Do check it out.

This rubbish feeling

One can't help but wonder about the mysterious disappearance of the MH370 flight. It's all over the news now and everyone is hoping for some progress. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long process altogether.

Then again this rubbish feeling continue on a Monday like this. Feeling overworked and not appreciated. Need to stay positive and have a change of mindset. 

To be reminded that there's an expiry date that am gonna be here at home, it's stressing me out sometimes. Huhu. I guess my fear now is a fear of change. How if I can't adapt? How if I just can't share space? How this? How that?Macam jadi stress pula kalau mau ingat2 ni semua. 

Bersyukur saja la with all the things now. Some people might not be lucky. Just like those people on board the flight. 

Make a change

Changes in life.

I just came back from KL for house viewing session with the relocation agent. The mister is transferring soon and he will be like across the South China Sea again. This time even further. I thought he will stay in Labuan but changes are good for his career.

My weekend are practically fully occupied these days. The final weekend of February was filled with hours of Zumba. I attended the basic 1 Zumba instructor training. Finally, after contemplating for almost a year. Anyway, I am a certified Zumba Instructor now. 

Before the Zumba instructor training was a week at the athletics meet. Again, I was the so called physiotherapist. Burned and baked by the sun and kneaded muscles of many bau kaki (haha) athletes. All was worth it because our school won the overall champion title after 5 years. Woohoo.

Aaaaaand the week before the athletics meet was the netball tournament week. Worst performance ever by my teams but it's all about gaining experience. I hope my students remember the bittersweet memories of having a very garang yet caring coach. Haha.

More stuff to come. I heard the puisi dan lagu competition is coming before the mid term school break. So yeah, I gotta abide and respect the request of the school principal for he personally thinks that I should lead the team despite the lack of (my) knowledge and experience towards these kind of stuff.

It is also a whirlwind in my mind now that the mister's transfer is actually happening soon and the need to get a house in KL also having to make it a home there. Also leaving the "nest" and settling with the in laws. So many changes. Can I cope? Sigh.. I am afraid actually.