Have faith, keep believing

I have been trying to promote our shop that is due to open in August, yes it is a food court. But I am seriously in need of food vendors. Like seriously, where are you people??? I understand to rent out the whole place is quite expensive, so I am helping to lessen the burden (knowing the economy also sucks right now), by offering a very affordable price for operating a food stall.

Yes, one food stall asking for RM700 per month, fully negotiable. I already have a tenant for drinks stall as for now. Food court is ready to operate in August, but I am in dire need to see more food vendors coming in. 

Where are you people????

Crazy people crazy sale

I must be one of the crazy people to wake up early and line up even before the door opens. Haha. My second year joining in the mad fun of massive sale like this. Fitflop sale that started on the 20th of June located at PJ Trade Centrte. But I only come on 23rd of June as they are only selling the cheapest model on that day. RM149 per pair (normal price RM329).

Arrived at the "scene" 15 minutes before the door opens at 10am. And this was the queue already. So near yet so far moment already. Hahaha. This people no need to work is it? And look at the first three ladies in the queue, they came out from the shop with at least 4 pairs of Fitflop each person. OMG.

After an hour of queueing, I managed to reach this close to the door. Hahahaha. Adoi!! I also saw some grandma with tongkat in the line. Wah, gila so tahan standing up so long like that. The shop is small and they only allow 10 customers at one time. You are allowed only 15 minutes inside to choose. But some just don't care, spend like SO LONG inside there choosing and choosing and choosing and choosing.

When I was 5 people away from the door, the end of the queue became infinite. Haha. I cannot see the end of the line already. I really do not know what willpower that motivated this people to keep standing that long. The longer the queue, the longer the waiting time and some who arrived later will at far back. Some have their baby on their back while standing. OMG! What madness is this?

1 hour 15 minutes I spent lining up (and that's because I arrive before opening time), 10 to 15 minutes in the shop, in which there's not much to choose from anymore because all the aunties before me already sapu everything. Be prepared to be nudged and elbowed along the way in the process to choose your favorite pair. Haha. Those aunties were vicious.

My objective was to only go for the RM149 pair regardless of the color and style. As long as it is that price and they have my size. But, BOOHOO, my size are almost all sold out. I was lucky to even find one or two pairs in my size for the cheapest price. So, I have to settle for this style. It looked like my dad' Fitflop pair. WTH. Tapi it is so comfy! Biarlah. Besides I need another different style to add on to my existing collection. Haha. Collection konon. Yeah, only one pair in the collection btw. LOL

As for my sister's order, her smaller feet size made it easier to find her size. A lot more styles are available for the price range that I was looking for. 

So, both priced at RM149 and I paid RM298 in total. Usually, that amount can't even buy one pair of Fitflop retail. Too bad this time they do not give additional discounts for purchasing two or more Fitlops.

Anyway, it was worth the wait in the queue. 

Hahaha. Yes, I am crazy.

Home is where the heart is

My simple living room. There's like only one proper chair to sit on and the rest are bean bags and foot stools. Totally not a good setting if you have more "formal" guests like those who are elderly. They don't really fancy bean bags to sit on. 

Anyway I like this setting. I totally dislike bulky sofa. I love things that are modular and mobile as I get bored easily with my furniture. Will always keep changing the arrangement from time to time. Somehow this whole thing is failing on keeping with the color scheme. Its hard to mix and match stuff that you didn't but but have to work around with it. I love neutral and natural colors with splash of quirky colors. Btw, the brown and red beanbag aren't my purchase so just gotta work with it.

Super high pressure!

It is actually towards the end of May already. I have been slacking way too much. Like wayyyyy too much! So, I decided I need to fine tune my head and my thoughts and my soul. 

I enrolled myself to an Upskill Course organized by the graduate studies department. This is like the first time ever I attended one. Like ever! Because the list is perpetually full when you want to register for any courses offered. This time I got lucky. Hahaha. The lecturer for the 6 hours course was also kinda cute. Haha. Muda lagi. 

So, that was my Monday. Today, I have to again to the campus to attend a meeting with the Bahagian Tajaan. Yeah, good times! Also get to meet my Borneo friends who are all educators under the same sponsorship program. My friends are all super hardworking some of them already had done their proposal defense and I haven't even get my proposal together. DAMN SUPER PRESSURE now!

Drove home feeling like a failure because I am a super slacker. But the bundle of joy from MPH Online. Cheered me up. See what "rubbish" I bought with the Baucar Buku 1 Malaysia. WTF right?! More distractions!!

Ok, back to reading journals now.

Little Mix Get Weird Tour 2016

Little Mix from the UK. I attended their concert and watched them live. Yeay! So nice. But, it was truly a one of a kind experience.

Why ? (if you may ask). I have never attended a concert with so many kids (like primary school kids age) running around you. I felt like I am in an elementary school something like that. Most of the concert goers are like young people half my age and some are even younger because they were accompanied with their parent(s).

It was like a family day affair. Hahaha.

Seriously. Hahaha. These kids are really really lucky. I attended my first concert when I started working (yeah only when I start earning my own money). Well, yeah, I was born into a different socioeconomic status. These kids will never understand my situation. Good for them.

See the stair leading up to the concert hall. So full of people. But it is nice to see parents or an older sibling are somehow willingly accompanying their younger family members to this concert.

I did not take much footage and photos during the concert since my view was like this almost all the time (see picture below). I still don't get it why some people need to put up their mobile phone in the air 99% of the time during the concert. You paid for the tickets to see the acts live. Why do you need to record it and having stiff arms? Also, you can't even enjoy and dance to songs. WTF!

Anyway, it was an awesome show. The girls from Little Mix sounded so good live and they dance and sing live too. I was blown away. It was a bummer that Jesi injured herself during the first half of the show and could not perform during the second half of the concert. Huhu. She got the best stage presence.

Yeah, me and my sister managed to take photos at the photo booth too (in which not many people went to take their photos because they were busy queuing to get in the concert hall). Ngeh! We took our time. Hahahaha. Too old to rush in the hall like mad people. I will only do that for BIG BANG. LOL.

Be strong Joan

I am so worried with the progress of my thesis. Huhuhuhu!

Trying to motivate myself #qotd #inspirationalquotes #art #paper53 #illustration #doodles

A photo posted by Joan of Arc (@joan_jade) on May 18, 2016 at 9:35am PDT

Gala Night Tuaran 2016 Emcee Job

Ah, it felt so good to be back behind the rostrum and emceeing the Gala Night. 

photo credit to Marious Photography

Been emceeing the event since its first edition back in 2011 when Tuaran hosted the kick off the State Level Kaamatan. I was MIA for last year because I relocated to KL but am back this year. Thank God for cheap airplane tickets. Well although the token to do this job can't really justify the cost to travel back, get dressed an dolled up but it is all worth it to actually be there in my hometown for this event.

My makeup done this time by Liz Belle. Can find her on facebook and IG as well. It is quite different to have a female MUA to do your makeup. I am so used to having male MUA to do my hair and makeup. Female MUA is more gentle I must say.

Lama sudah tidak bercantik cantik begini. 

Anyway, just a throwback of the on-the-job look. 2011 till now.

2012 and 2014 photo credits to David Aramaitii Photography

For this year, I thought I want to wear my wedding dinner gown but I realized I might have lost too much weight due to dengue. So, I bought this yellow dress from Forever 21 on bargain at only RM90. Yeah! Clutch is from Christyng.com and earrings is from Padini Accessories (remember the 4 days special sale earlier this month). I love major sales! You can just get good bargain but you really need to be mentally prepared to brave through the human stampede.

Nice or not?

Pampering time

After recovering from dengue, my skin is extra dry and so is my hair. My nails are like hmmph and whatever, I felt so ugly. And I am like, screw it! I am gonna dye my hair, do my nails and take extra care of my skin (plus chugging in more and more H2O until I am so bloated). Not only that, I think my body timing is so screwed up because of the virus attack.

Time to get feel pretty by spending a lot some money.

As usual, this is like my annual visit to my fave salon here in Klang Valley because it's quite pricey.

Dyed my hair to a new color. Even color, the blonde ends are annoying me so much. Love the new color even though when I came back home, the mister was asking "where's the new hair color?". WTF, I spend two hours and some three digit amount on that hair and he said he cannot see any difference.

*Grumble-grumble-grumble*

Anyway, I am loving it. Went to do pedicure as well cos my toenails looked like shit as well. Sigh.

Do not burst the zen bubble

A photo posted by Joan of Arc (@joan_jade) on May 2, 2016 at 1:15am PDT

Hello May! Hello Optimism!

I do not want to be dwelling on the sickness, the recovery, the wall, the mental block. Let's start with a healthy dose of optimism daily in the soul food intake.

Ok, May please be good. No jinx please!

A photo posted by Joan of Arc (@joan_jade) on Apr 30, 2016 at 11:14pm PDT

Exercising Post Dengue

My chest was on fog and smog. Fire wasn't really there but it's like my lungs is full of clouds, I can't breathe properly. Most of my friends asked me to take baby steps but I am rather impatient. I am very dissapointed with myself for not being able to perform up to my own expectations.

My first dance fitness class will be on next Tuesday. 3rd of May. I hope I won't pass out during the class. Now, two weeks since the dengue fever and a week after fully recovered, I make it a point to practice out two songs every day. Just to build stamina.

Tomorrow, I am going for a hot yoga session. I hope everything will be okay since the humidity level in the room gonna be higher and usually normal session also it will be harder to breathe. So let's just see how it goes.

Kaamatan datang lagi

Surviving Dengue

If there's one thing that I could do to turn back time is when the time the stupid mosquitoes bit me and caused me to get dengue. I have been hearing stories about how bad dengue was and now, I get to experience it first hand and I must say, it WAS NOT PLEASANT!

12th April 2016

Went to my Zumba as usual in the evening and I was not in the mood for zumba as well as menses this month was extraordinary painful and my body was not reacting the way it is supposed to be during my class. Felt sluggish but I brushed it off thinking it was just fatigue.

13th April 2016

Pushed through my morning class and end up being super sluggish again. Drove back with a heavy head and slept again right after breakfast feeling cold and pain in the joints. Luckily, my Zumba Kids scheduled in the afternoon was cancelled and I only have to brave through the evening class. Slept in the afternoon and the mister joined me as well as he too was feeling sick.

Zumba on through the evening and came back home half dead, showered quickly and ate potato bun and some mushroom soup.

Slept with this temperature through the night with major major joint pain. The mister had his body temperature almost 40C and all I can say that night was the longest night of my life. That paracetamol that I took provided just a brief relief, worried sick about the mister too. AND I have to pack for my flight to KK the next day. WTF!

14th April 2016

Basically in the morning, I still managed to do laundry and drag myself to the clinic along with the mister. The clinic prescribed normal fever meds and a jab on the butt for immediate relief. Just to keep me sane for my flight in the afternoon. Short relief and I actually have some appetite to eat the rice takeaway before my flight. That was my rice meal at least for the next three days as I do not have any appetite at all after that.

15th April 2016

Everything tasted bittter when I tried to eat breakfast. I was actually very happy to be back in KK to makan and do some delayed stuff for the shop renovation. The fever was on and off. Bad bad bad fever with major joint pain. I am still keeping in mind about the doctors' advice to get our blood tested by the third day of the fever. and it is only the second day. Somehow, I still managed to do some tiles shipping for the shop renovation. Well, at least the trip back home wasn't entirely wasted of me being sick all the time.

Still is worried sick with the mister since I flew back alone and he is left alone in KL with his fever. And my sister also start to have the same fever too.

16th April 2016

The want to vomit and diarrhea phase. I basically could not eat anything. I forced myself to eat some bread and that's it. The fever also is getting the best out of me. Felt like dying. The mister informed me that he has been tested positive for dengue. So, I was like so worried for him. Felt like flying back to KL that instant. But, I myself is like a vegetable too. Went to Pathlab for a blood test. Turned out negative for dengue. Perhaps my body is still not showing it in my blood. In and out of the toilet the whole day regardless of no food being ingested. My God!

17th April 2016

Still cannot eat much. My mom insisted on me going to the hospital again. And yeah, blood test again. Ugh!

This was my blood test. White Blood Cell count is super low with just 1.43 and my platelet is only 115. Positive dengue for sure and they want to ward me already but I said I do not want. First, I do not like to stay in the hospital. Secondly, I am scared of all the IV shit. Although, I know hospital monitoring is better because dengue is actually life threatening. I still do have my fever. Perpetually at 38C. It just doesn't come down. 

Also, if I am warded, I cannot go back to KL on Tuesday and I do not want that.

18th April 2016

My mom is actually forcing me to eat. Any weird garlic-y smell could induce vomiting for me. Strong smelling perfume. Salty food all are bitter. I can only eat a few spoons of plain rice or rice with sugar.

Like this porridge with sugar. Hahaha. So weird right. I can only take sweet tasting stuff. Anything than that taste like what only.

Also, I am so worried about the mister and my sister in KL. I was so close to flying to KL on Monday morning itself but there's no point as well.

19th April 2016

My flight back to KL is at 10.55am. Touched down in KL and I went straight to HKL to get my blood tested again. And also because my sister is about to be warded too. Oh God!  Fever is gone but I cannot walk very fast and I am actually experience difficulty to breathe which I never mentioned to the doctor.

My blood test on the day I came back to KL is also not doing very well but since I never actually vomited out, fever is gone and my diarrhea had stopped, they still do not have enough reasons to ward me. But thank God the white blood cell count has increased. Although the platelet count still continue to spiral down. My sister on the hand, her conditions deteriorate so much because she did not drink and eat enough. Perhaps because no one was there to take of them and I was actually home taken care by my mom. When you are sick, you really need someone to just pester you to eat and drink. Yeah, like seriously even though you will be cursing mad because you do not actually have the appetite and you just feel like shit.

So, starting from 20th April onwards, it was blood test everyday for me and my sister is in the ward. HKL ground now doesn't seem foreign to me anymore.

I have this rashes all over my legs and arms. So weird. The doctor said it is part of the recovery process. Hmmmm. And the lymph nodes behind my ears and at the nape of my neck also all were swollen. It was painful.

Can you see my sister's name on the board?? Bed no. 14. She is warded for like 3 days and got discharged yesterday. Dengue dengue dengue. Totally a bad bad bad experience.

And of course, look at my arms. Blue all over. Still nothing beats my sister's experience of being warded. She lost count on how many times the nurses and doctors drew blood from her arms. Cucuk everywhere. 

Man! That is exactly why I do not want to be warded.

So, we are all on the road to recovery. The mister is still struggling with this revisions. Such a bad luck and bad timing to get dengue a week before his exams. My sister is recovering as well, we still have rashes on our legs and arms. We get tired easily. I lost 2kgs in the first 6 days. At the end of the dengue week, I am 55kg. Kurus kunun. Puik! But I feel lethargic all the time. 

I do not know how will I get back to my dance fitness classes. I told the studios that I will be back by the first week of May. I seriously do not know how my body will perform post dengue. We will see.

My proposal writing is halted and I am actually panicking. But I guess, things happen for a reason and I just need to calm myself down and start the writing ASAP. 

All in all, I am actually grateful that all of us recovered (albeit still a working progress). I never knew that dengue is actually very life threatening since the virus attack your bone marrow and liver and interrupt your bodily functions just like that and in severe cases you could just actually bleed yourself to death from the inside.

People! Just be careful with the mosquitoes around you. 

Postgraduate Life

Now that I got my writing momentum back, things are falling into places. Well, part of it because I am actually so stressed out with the deadline drawing in near and I do not actually have any substance in my research proposal. Hahaha. Tau takut. Itu lah main saja. Zumbazumbazumba. Itu saja kana ingat.

And when I got this email last week, sent in mass for all postgraduates. This really put focus back. Good idea from people at the faculty. Seriously! It really put my focus back. Now, I am not sure whether I should apply for this mock seminar or not. I only have 1 week to prepare and my SV is asking again "Are you really sure with what you want to do now?"

Hahaha. What a tough question.

I am in for another supervision meeting today. Hopefully, there will be some positive feedback from my SV today since the last two drafts of problem statement that I sent in was not very useful. Huhuhu.

Better days

This class was yesterday. First full formal class ever since I got certified last year. Low impact but it will get you toned seriously fast.

Maybe those around PJ area might want to join my class on 11th April. Yeay!

Whatevs

Mental health status : failure

Sometimes at times I just feel like i am a loser. All my friends are like building their family have one or two babies or more. Been through done that kind of situation. I know they have tons of shit to deal with themselves. I, myself on the other hand is  chasing after academic qualifications and jumping around for fitness class where the mister is asking for us to really start a family. Not that I am hanging any dirty laundry out here but I am actually stuck in between wanting to talk to someone and just swallowing it in just like that.

Sharing space with your in laws at one home where everyone is having their own system and preference is equally not easy. If it is your own family then telling them off about something (although it might cause conflict) is rather easy. But a hard headed in law family member, it's like brewing world war three. And again, I am obviously hanging dirty laundry on my blog but I really need an avenue to let this out because having some suicidal thoughts that comes with all this drama mamba is worrying me. (besides I do not get much blog traffic nowadays so to hell with it).

I just prefer to lie down on my bed doing nothing these days. The deadline to get my proposal done also is getting nearer and not to mention also that I am always reminded that my biological is ticking away the same way that the study leave duration is coming to an end. I do not have the motivation, things at home do not make me happy and at times I think what is there to be celebrated about in life? Do not try to offer me all those "other people had it worst", "count your blessings" and "be grateful" laced advices. I have been trying to keep myself sane with all those motivational thoughts as well. 

Right now, I just want to be holed up in a cave where no one can find me and just do nothing. Or rather be binge eating to be happy but I don't have the appetite now. Maybe I should starve myself to death now. 

Hello April!

Yeah!

Easter weekend

March is coming to an end. The minimized social media contacts is actually helping with my sanity during lent. Although at times I was weak. Ah-ha!

Easter here second year in KL. Feels different from back home.

Back home, masses are all packed every single time during feast days. Maundy Thursdays, Good Friday, Easter Vigil and Easter Day. We were so kiasu on getting a seat on Easter Day, but apparently the people do not attend both vigil and Easter day mass. Hehe.

Also, celebrated Easter with Sabahan homies at Astra's crib. Thank you for inviting us sumandak!

Now looking forward for April.