Monday, June 04, 2018

Blank mind

I am sitting in Starbucks, drinking my current favourite frappucino. Tea-ramisu. Green tea concoction with cheesecake taste in it. I found myself staring blankly to the space without having any thoughts in my head. Just blank. Empty.

My mind is seriously exhausted I think. Lack of sleep is nothing, I can overcome that. Somehow, these few days, I am just overwhelmed.

It is not easy to be a mother, a working mother, and don't remind me about the thesis that is still hanging there without being done. I need to graduate this year. But I feel 24 hours is not enough. I miss this quite "me" time yet I feel selfish for not driving straight back home after work but just hang around in Starbucks and staring blankly into nothing-ness.

Asking for help is a source of conflict and I end up being bossy ordering people around. But in a day, there's just so many things to do. Also, my working environment is not helping at all - with toxic bosses around and colleagues who don't rebel like me. I felt so alone.

Yes, very much alone. Hence, this dusty blog suddenly comes alive after a long hiatus.