Friday, October 05, 2018

Late night rants

Dusty dusty blog. Hello.... I can hear the echo here but I need an outlet to organize my thoughts. Microblogging site just can't handle the amount of keystrokes for this incoming rants.


Teaching is still my passion but it is overshadowed with the gloomy burden of the clerical work that we have to do. I STILL can survive those. NEVER MIND. It is all about organizing workloads and prioritizing. One thing I hate the most in my current work place now is the amount of micro managing done by the superiors. Although I love my direct boss, but the majority of the superiors took their roles too seriously to the point of where it is seen as showing off and showing who is the boss. Ah! Enough about those things. It is just like running in a circle.


Tomorrow is a Saturday and I felt that there are tons of backlogged things to do. Looking at my list of things to do, I get overwhelmed. I need to organize my thoughts better. Prioritize! First things first. I need to tell myself to calm down, if not I will find myself drifting into a panic mode. All because 2018 is actually ending and I am still stuck at analyzing and writing out my thesis. Now, it has become a deep wound that doesn't heal. I need to heal it quick and move on. Like seriously.

But also, I lack writing practice. This writer's block is like a permanent thing stuck here. NOT going to move and NOT going to budge. Disrupting the flow. I need to do something about this. I need to dig deeper. Suddenly, I remembered all those "eureka" moments for my writings last time happen late at night when I can't sleep.Now, I am in dire need of sleep because my son still doesn't sleep through the night. It is still better than the newborn phase though. Haha.


Currently I am staying in a landed house. Finally, our own home. No more renting. But its quite far from the big city. Somehow, it is better here especially for raising a family. Grateful for the things and opportunity like this.

Okay, need to stop ranting here. I feel like reading a book now. I need to salvage all this solitary and tranquil moments before I get disrupted with my son's crying or my husband's snore.

Monday, August 20, 2018


Motivation needed!

All this while, I never thought a pep talk can make any difference in anyone's life. Its all like yadda yadda here and there. BUT now, I am in need of one. Everytime I think about thesis and life. I get overwhelmed and I felt like running somewhere where people can't find me.

I need to accept the fact that daily routine are no more all about me. Sustaining a healthy relationship within the family, juggling a career and just living everyday is actually tiring. Everything seems like a ticking time bomb now where the biological clock is ticking, the thesis clock is ticking. Yet, you can't seem to do everything all at the same time.

"I am not a quitter!"

I need to tell myself this. I can do this. I need to just do it and don't think so much. Every day has its trouble on its own.


ok back to my thesis struggle.

Monday, June 04, 2018

Blank mind

I am sitting in Starbucks, drinking my current favourite frappucino. Tea-ramisu. Green tea concoction with cheesecake taste in it. I found myself staring blankly to the space without having any thoughts in my head. Just blank. Empty.

My mind is seriously exhausted I think. Lack of sleep is nothing, I can overcome that. Somehow, these few days, I am just overwhelmed.

It is not easy to be a mother, a working mother, and don't remind me about the thesis that is still hanging there without being done. I need to graduate this year. But I feel 24 hours is not enough. I miss this quite "me" time yet I feel selfish for not driving straight back home after work but just hang around in Starbucks and staring blankly into nothing-ness.

Asking for help is a source of conflict and I end up being bossy ordering people around. But in a day, there's just so many things to do. Also, my working environment is not helping at all - with toxic bosses around and colleagues who don't rebel like me. I felt so alone.

Yes, very much alone. Hence, this dusty blog suddenly comes alive after a long hiatus.

Friday, November 03, 2017

Babywearing Experience: Lenny Lamb Smoki Wrap Review

I am a newbie in babywearing. Just sharing my experience with this Lenny Lamb Smoki in Black and White (Size 4). Second hand bought from a member of the Malaysian Babywearers FSOT group. The previous owner had taken care the wrap well I must say. Lennylamb released this in 2015. So it is like 2 years old already.

I love it because it is a size 4, well broken in and most of all it is in Black and White. I am slowly loving all the monochromes wraps these days. 

Dual purpose (always!)

Lenny lamb as I heard has one of the softest wraps. Well this one is broken in well and the support it provides for my little one is great! No sagging at all. It has quite a dense weave I must say and it is not as airy as my Fidella wrap (could be due to the gram-mage difference ; I don't know. Too lazy to check).

For now, this is my go to wrap especially at home because of the handsome color and also the size. I have another size 4 but it is in rainbow color. I am just not feeling very rainbow-ish these days. Might be putting that up for sale soon. 

Monday, October 30, 2017

DIY baby crib bumper

You know those cute custom made baby crib bumpers on Instagram? They are adorable but come with a nice price tag as well. Ya, I appreciate custom made things. But I am not paying that much for something that I have solutions for.

Tadaa! My DIY baby crib bumpers. Its just three back cushions bought from Kaison for MYR 12.90 each. Attached some ribbons at the corner (with horrible sewing skills of mine). There you go, a fast and cute baby crib bumpers. Teehee!

I always love Kaison stuff (hey, this is not a paid blog post okay, just an honest sharing). Look how cute is this mountain shaped cushion in which the husband said is a shark. A SHARK? Which part of it look like a shark?