Monday, May 31, 2010

Saya mau jadi UNDUK NGADAU

A redo..with better audio..

KOTOBIAN TADAU TAGAYO DO KAAMATAN...mari kita pigi KDCA tinguk Unduk Ngadau..

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Friday, May 28, 2010

I can breathe again

It has been quite some time that I sing, play the ukulele, doing some reflective writing. I missed that!

For the past few days it has been a crazy busy time.

Not enough sleep + stress level high = cranky Joan

Remember...I don't really function well in a high stress environment. You can always expect the unexpected when I am in such situation.

Anyway, last post-mortem meeting for an event, I voiced out my dissatisfaction bluntly during the meeting. I specifically mention the name of the person without thinking twice. I guess there's not many people who dare to point out their colleague's name boldly during a meeting hence all the glare and surprised looks.

Usually in meetings, people tidak puas hati sure cakap berlapik. But, I don't know what happen that time, I guess my mulut really celupar la. Sorry, I am lacking diplomacy skills.

But then what to do. If not now, when la kan? or if not me, who la then?

I am the leader for the unit and I think that person is wrong so I need to voice it out. Hate it? Then do your part properly. I was being asked to be the leader so I am just doing my job. You don't like my big mouth, then work with someone else who won't speak up if you don't do your job.

My principle is easy and it applies to everything around me ( work, personal, etc )

I do my work ( part ) and you do yours and no one gets hurt

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


It will bring relief definitely.

But when your face feels warm and water starts welling in your eyes because of the workload.

And the voice starts to quiver when someone asked you " Are you ok?"

Ah, saya hampir nangis depan kawan satu kerja. Malu!!! Huhu

I missed the times when the camaraderie and the bond was very strong.

Find me if you can..

Monday, May 24, 2010

Bring it on

Frustration after frustration. I seem to develop a numb feeling for this feeling already. But then again, it still hurts. And the worst part is it keeps haunting you.

What happened recently?

I also seem lost in the recent happenings.

First, some event went wrong with the result and the blaming game start and I participated in an event yesterday. So, as expected everything is jeopardized. Can you imagine, the papers given out by the judges to the emcee is being manipulated right up at the stage.

Voila! The winners changed names. Thanks to the snakes and cunning foxes plus two faced people. ( I hope these people will die painfully )

I warn you dear innocent young souls who plan to join this competition. Keep your eyes open. Things can get as ugly as this. I have encountered too much of this and the yesterday's event was a perfect closure for the whole journey of becoming one.

Not too mention that I am being discriminated for my height during an interview for the selection of representative for the district for one competition also. And so the rest are tall, so what? That's the only plus point that they have. The rest are all negative ( IQ, looks, etc) But, NOOOOOOO..I cannot. Why? Sabab ko randah bah...pindik! ( stab me now! )

Second, an upcoming event at work. It is just so frustrating that some people just do not know what is the meaning of responsibility. Hmmm and I tell you, teachers being teachers are sometimes really NOT the best professionals that you can see around. Some people do have this kampungan mentality and they proudly bring it in the meeting room. And some just plainly unaware of whats happening. Biarlah kan hujung bulan gaji juga bah, buat kerja lebih buat apa. One word for you people. K.A.R.M.A = karma!

I salute my fellow colleagues that really work their ass off to make the event to happen even though I know it is hard to juggle other work with this task. I felt the pain too. But to those who sort of trying to be blind and deaf with their task, I hope you will be blind and deaf for real.

Ooops, nah menyumpah sudah. Forgive me, I am being human now. I have to control my temper and brush up on my diplomacy skills. I want to learn how to marah people but still in a VERY nice way.

Social politics, work politics, and what not politics. As far that I am concerned, every single thing that is happening now only brings frustration around.

Even switching off the wireless internet to curb my sisters usage during their studying time also invokes bad vibes around.

What can I do? It seems every single thing is bad. Jahat. Buruk. Semua lah! And other frustrations that is not being told here. Hmmm...

Kill me now if you wish...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

And so what?

So what if you are tall?

Let me live this moment as it is. There's more to life than this actually. But for now, I want to have that moment and damn...I worked hard for it.

I need a mixture of prayers and luck for tomorrow. Fingers crossed..Fingers crossed.

In the meantime, I look up, above, to seek for guidance and wisdom.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Something to brighten up my day

I have been quite worried and anxious these few days. I kept frowning for things that seems to be petty to some. I read books then my mind wanders for the bad things to happen. So much for attracting good things to happen to me.

I am still a bit pissed off about some people reposting my pictures of the recent event on their facebook account. and they crop out my watermark. tsk tsk tsk. Pencuri selalu rugi. I am cursing you now.

Adding salt to the wound, some party is quite pissed off prior to the event happening recently. And they are kinda pissed off with me and my family. For the record, I don't have anything to do with the event's results. I was only doing my job and anything happening is beyond my control. And now I am sort of punished for it. I guess that title I wanted badly for the event this coming Sunday won't be a reality. Sigh.

Punished to a crime I did not commit. Too much drama!

Trying to ward off the bad vibes, these things cheered me up. I purchased a few things from Pink Apple Designs.

I am so loving this pink clutch with the matching keyfob

and this 3 keyfobs and I got one mini for free... Loving this! Might be very useful as my luggage tag for my upcoming trip.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Unduk Ngadau Tuaran

Ah...not me of course. Saya pekerja saja tadi, jadi orang bawahan...hehe

This is the UNDUK NGADAU for TUARAN. Miss Ledesma Steven.
Beautiful? Hehehe...I think she is beautiful..And these are the top 5. More pictures in my facebook.
Until then, goodnight. I totally had a long day..I had audit report to do soon and tons of exam papers to be marked before the deadline.

I am tired to the core!

Monday, May 17, 2010


Bokeh - is the opposite of sharpness. The blur effect is something to be appreciated in a photograph.

To me it is art!
Anyway, blur-ness is not something to be appreciated by all especially in everyday's life. Sharpness of the mind is something to be favoured.

This picture I took last year, I am always fascinated by lights and the bokeh behind - I think it is mad awesome.

Taking pictures is another form of therapy of mine to get my mind off things ( last time it was painting )

I can say going through May is a challenge. A sharp mind for certain things is what I need yet need to bokeh out some of the un-important stuff to get my focus right.

Be realistic and take things as it is. That's the mantra for now.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Keep your dreams Teachers!

I never once dream to be a teacher,

this morning I dreamed that I was teaching in a class,

I dreamed that I am a teacher.

And thank God that I still am after two ( coming to three ) years

The profession never fails to surprise me each and every day.

Happy Teacher's Day to all teachers!

Teachers, I salute you!

p/s: Punya la mimpi mengajar sudah on a teacher's day morning. sunday lagi tu. potong stim betul...hehe

Ninik saya manang unduk ngadau!

Betul bah! Bukan main-main ni. Numbur satu lagi tu.

Well, actually it was part of the event at church. The parish level Kaamatan Celebration. And so the unduk ngadau fever is also here.

These were the contestants this afternoon. 7 out of 8 saja pula..satu hilang nda tau pigi mana.

I tweeted that it is gonna be a long Saturday right? Indeed it was a long Saturday.

Started my day bright and early in the morning. Went to church around 8am, mass at 9, then the event started at 1230pm.

I emcee-ed the first part of the event. Done my part, hurried back home to do my grandma's hair (kasi sanggul konon tapi style serabut punya ) and make up also. By 2pm, rushed back to the church to fetch my grandma there.

TOTAL CHAOS! I even forgot to eat. My hunger sampai hilang bah telampau sibuk...

Anyway, everything went well.

Congratulations to the nenek-nenek... :)
Pis dia bilang! Hehehe

Unduk Ngadau mode is totally ON!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Justin Bieber says clueless why girls scream for him

As quoted from this site.

Clueless? Is he stupid or what.

Don't he realized that his looks is being adored by many?
Girls (and guys too)...Ahahaha..LMAO

a note to my lalat putih

dear sheila,

if you gonna have some bridesmaid on your wedding. harap2 I am one of them. haha.

make sure ko punya official photographer take this kind of shot and then kasi frame ah..hehe

vintage shoot

vintage concept shoot. it really does wonders. hell yeah!
i like this so the very much. kthxbai!

Monday, May 10, 2010


It seems that I am quite bored tonight. So might as well do this.. Hehe

Award from Prisca Sheila

Ucap terima kasih & letakkan link orang yang memberi award ini.
- Terima Kasih Sheila on 7! ehehe

Nyatakan 7 perkara tentang diri anda

Pass kepada 15 orang award ni
1. Amy
2. Massy
3. Jasmine
4. Jacq
5. Joji
6. Ned
7. Kuai
8. Frankie
9. Claire
10. Clare
11. Clarice
12. Emily
13. Serra
14. Daz
15. Pammie

Beritahu kepada 15 orang yang bertuah ni bahawa diorang dapat award ni.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mother's Day MOM!

Bought a "bag" for my Mom this mother's day...Haha..

We asked her to get her LV shawl as well to wear before we reveal the cake. And boy, she was so surprised to see the "bag"

We can't afford to buy one for you mom, a cake will do. Hehe.

Then she said very sayang want to eat.. "mari kita tinguk saja la"

Well, being good kids. We never listen to her. Hahahaha.

So, destruction happens.
Tada..the aftermath..

My mom tidak marah juga la..cos dia actually pun memang mau makan juga. haha

Happy Mother's Day Mom, We love You!

And to all mothers out there as well. Happy Mother's Day! Spread the love.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Back to my roots


Graceful moves...

Lively traditional music...

Unique costumes..

Irreplaceable esthetic value of the culture

And this always gave me this warm fuzzy feeling in my gut that tells myself. THIS IS ME. THIS IS PART OF ME.
My culture to be exact. I am so proud of my roots and May is the month when Sabah become so alive.

It is a kaleidoscopic colours of culture and an event such as Sabah Fest was something not to be missed.