Friday, May 16, 2008

hari yang buruk

this post gonna be like another page of a personal diary, *I hope not*.Since tomorrow, well rather today is Teacher's Day (it is past midnight already now), just want to blog something about a day in a teacher's working day.

Amazingly, I was such in a mellow mood today when I went to school.. I say "mellow" because I have the tendency to talk nicely to the students and not trashing them with my oh-so-bising-scolding.

Ok, cut the story short, I don't have to teach anything today. Just have to give back the exam papers to the kids. The results for each class was not as good as I expected. So I only have myself to blame *for not teaching the kids right*, well you can't point fingers to others for anything that happen.

"Don't ask things to change if you don't like it, just try to be better to make the best out of every situation" --> That's me trying hard to be positive la that..Pui!

Then, when I was about to leave for another class, I talked to one student. Talk2 then he put on one face..Kicik2 pun tembirang,rasa mo pijak2 jak tu muka kasi hancur terus..geram bah!. I was talking to him about his exam results and suggesting ways to improve and don't always minta puji around because no one like him that way. Then he retaliate and say

" Ngaai-tiaaaw-Lao-shiii" --> That's what I heard,I don't know what it exactly mean.*thanks to the chinese blood that I have but never did show in my identity* But having chinese friends, I SURELY know that it meant something vulgar and bad.

My blood shot to the head, feel like crushing the kid, but then he ran away already. Well, this isn't the first time he said that to me but this time it is upfront and face to face. I just muttered "Nanti kau"and it is so to happen that I met the Discipline Teacher after that, so I just let him know about the earlier incident. Manatau after that, he went to find the boy and make him apologize to me.

Guess what, the boy was crying that time.*I am not sure pula what had the Discipline Teacher done to him prior to that*..when he said the things to me earlier berani pula. Now jadi baby crying..what a wimp!

But I gone soft, seeing the boy cried. I actually regretted telling the Discipline Teacher. Anyway, I just accept the apology without saying much.

After that...I sambung my class with the most notorious class for the form am teaching. ADUI!..they were SO noisy and like animals in the zoo, that the Guru Kanan who was doing his rounds that time have to step in and help me control the class..

MALUNYA!!! Imagine there is someone to help you control the whole situation which in the first place a teacher should know how to do that.after the Guru Kanan left, the class went nuts again. This time I can't take it anymore. I just started scolding them again but unlike the usuals like shouting to them and throwing things.. I just erupted to tears.

I promised myself before I started out to be a teacher:

That I never cry in front of my students.
That I never show my weakness in front of them.
That I should handle my problems rationally and not emotionally.


the kids won.

and I guess that's the first Teacher's Day gift I get for my career history


fie the elf said...

I feel sad for you :(
Maybe you should be a bit more strict?

Joan said...

maybe i should la..i tot i was strict but those kids is word to describe..

Anonymous said...

hey there!

Firstly, Happy Teacher's day to you. of those days in school. Ya...with students like that, no wonder the statistic on teachers admitted into mental hospital is arising. LOL!

Well, strict is one thing. But sometimes, strict itself won't get the students to listen to you. What they need is to respect you as their teacher. How to earn that respect...well, we'll get and learn it in along our path as a teacher. It may take a long time but worth it in the end.

All the best to you and to me. :)

Dazeree Joan said...

i know hw u feel these days...

Anonymous said...

they just want to test u whether u can handle their attitude.. it's a normal experience for a fresh and new teacher like u. don't give up..sumday u'll be surprised to see how many lives u've bn touched on a daily basis. Happy teacher's day!

Joan said...

thanks for the teacher's day wishes..

now I know how good a teacher felt when the students do recognize their effort.

I am now at the opposite end, not like when I was still a student before.


btw, m just curious of what exactly "ngai-tiaw" means..

Vienne said...

HAppy teacher's day or belated one actually.. feel bad for u....but i think we are oin same situation, new teacher with a very super low is what we called cabaran...sumore it is hard to take the u just wanna quit...anyway, if u found something to make the student just as u wish, then tell me kio..hehehe