I do not want to be sad

Lately, I have been unfollowing friends people on Instagram and Facebook. You know click "unfollow" button. I am not blocking them. Just unfollowing them. Especially the ones who are having babies, just delivered or announcing that they are pregnant. Why you must ask? I don't know maybe because I am selfish, envious or rather "mean"?

And then I read an article that was shared by my friend that hits me right in the middle. Yeah right there in the core.

And sometimes her period comes, and you start over. Step one. And sometimes it doesn’t come. But the second line doesn’t appear, or the plus, or the whatever these tests do. So you wait. And it’s negative, but you hope, and you see your friends getting pregnant, and you get a little sad. But you get mad at yourself because you want to feel happy for other people, and that’s not fair to them. And then the 17-year-old across the street gets pregnant, and you get a little sadder. And your cousins get pregnant, and you get a little sadder.

To be honest, there is so much emotion to be contained once you know someone else gets pregnant. I do not have to keep explaining myself why I am unfollowing people on social media. Everyone's life is different. I just need to keep myself sane. So, until I could actually join the "others" on that baby boat or whatever, I want to sit in my little bubble here trying not to be sad. I am avoiding all those for now.