Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Feet and hands tied down!

People say don't put your happiness in someone else's pocket. I Iive by that saying but sometimes I just can't take the blow from work challenges and all I wanna do is to breakdown and cry.

Today, start with the wrong foot at work. This week is my turn as the teacher on duty. Teacher on duty work includes preparing the hall together with the prefect for the assembly. (Total WTF right, but it's the job). I don't even have time to clock in then one of my boss called to see me. I rushed to check things at the hall and come back for the boss.

Then all the discussion about the timetable and what nots took place and I
found myself reporting about colleagues who just don't go into their classes for various reasons. I was just bringing it up because I took responsibility for making the timetable as such that they had trouble going in class. Yeah, tai chi -ing the blame just doesn't work. Might as well blame myself.

I am just ranting now. You may not understand what is the situation. Bottom line is I felt overwhelmed. Yes. Very!!

I am also public enemy number one at school because

1) I arrange timetables for teachers
2) I kepochi go and report people based on feedbacks from my colleagues

And I never felt so alone doing all the work. Netball team (both under 18 and 15), I coached them alone. Bought them a ball and netball bibs as well. When I seek help, all I get is refusal. Just don't get me started about other clubs and teams.

Can you imagine? I am a science teacher and this year am teaching Maths, science  and English. Being asked to lead the puisi dan lagu team as well. Are you confused as much as I am now? They think I am wonderwoman isit? 

I started to develop so much hatred towards my colleagues now whenever I think about the difference of workload and thinking about the amount of pay everyone is getting. 

Why bother working so hard if you will also get paid the same like the not so hard working people? That's the ultimate question. Why bother?? As much as I remind myself about the utmost reason why I am sacrificing most of my time for work (that is for the students), I do crumble and fall under this intense pressure.

I am not perfect, I make mistakes. But can't we just practice good karma? Do your best as a teacher and don't get paid blindly doing nothing. 

P.S: I just don't get it why things should always go wrong all at the same time. I need to print exam results and my printer is causing me problems apart from having no paper to print.


Joanne Juend said...

I can feel you in terms of doing the timetable.

My work require me to do weekly timetable and its already been 5 year +

Scolded, shouted, tears and what else? Punching straight to the face lagi belum buat. Lol.

But I like lah your saying on
don't put your happiness in other's pocket :)

chin up!

Mas Light said...

I am not a teacher but I somewhat understand a bit of what you're saying. I do think you're wonder woman being able to do all of that, but yes, people do get overwhelmed if they can't handle it and if it gets out of hand. But think of it in a more positive way, you learn new things everyday and maybe saying people rely on you is not a good thing but in a way that people trust you instead of others doing things? I don't know. Try changing your perspective maybe you'll enjoy it more better? In a way :)

Have a pleasant day ahead!

Joan said...

Joanne. Thanks! Bikin timetable bikin pening. huhu

Massy. Thanks for the kind words. Changing perspective. ^_^

Amanda Christine Wong said...

There's this saying...The less fuck u give, the happier you'll be. Trying rebelling. Tunjuk perasan. Like, to hell i'm doing this alone. but then again, easier said than done ba kan. Hang in there. Mau cuti sdh :)

chegu carol said...

What will happened if you say no to some of that unrelated work i.e. the drama n puisi?