I am unhappy almost all the time.
Aiya, kenapa ini oh? Saya pun tidak tahu.
I felt I am actually an outcast in the real world. You know that feeling when you feel so connected while you are online. ( facebook, twitter and what not ), but in real life you don't actually
- hang out with your friends ( in real life ones )
- have a real conversation (other than commenting on status/photos/etc)
It's quite sad actually when seeing some of your ( old ) friends are hanging out together and the only thing that you can see are their photos. And in some cases, you can only get tagged (?), instead of a "hi, how are you" kinda thing?
Why did I get left out? *Mungkin dorang nda suka sa kali tu kan?*
And these days, this educating job is a tedious job. At some point, it doesn't really require high level of intelligence ( screw the 4 years spent in college, throw the Biology and Chemistry nonsense ). Now, I really do think all it need is superb management skills. Which I am lacking of. ( sigh! )
I noticed I am a slacker lately. I can't even get the form teacher duties done for the day. It's either I am inefficient or plainly lazy. Or maybe its actually the same two things ( hah! ). To make me even more stressed out, the teachers who sat beside me have properly documented things, and primp and proper desk with task being listed out and ready to be crossed out when its done.
Me? My desk is a pile of gigantic dinosaur like mess.
Singing, dancing, and writing songs are the things that I did during my free time, the time when all the creative juices flow freely and it liberates me. It kept me alive. And doing free time activities nowadays is actually doing the "acquired" time activities. I have to look for free time to do free time activities.
I guess the words of a mentor ( ex-Innuendo member ) is actually true. Careers really do kill the creative side of you.