Its a solitary journey

This is the time when I feel the loneliest ever. Its when you decide everything yourself and the road taken is so lonely.

Its when you need things done your way but people will just question it. Why do you need this? Why do you want that? Why? Why? Can't I just have it my way? and now it turns out that I am not having this celebration for myself but for others.

Everything I worked on. Everywhere, be it anything. Work, personal, for the future. It will be questioned. Can't I just have it my way? Jadi apa lah saya punya kewujudan ni kalau semua pun mo kana query...

Support? Fuck support

Career? Fuck career

Wedding? Fuck the wedding prep.

I am in a mess now and totally sunburnt. I have till Thurs to be baked in and out.

If I am to pack and leave right now and leave everything and everyone. I wouldn't miss anything or anyone.

Everyone can just go to hell.

Chap Goh Meh

Was yesterday... It was almost like a war zone by midnight and I didn't sleep well.

And I really wasn't in a good or neutral mood today. It's like I was really really on a pissed off mood. I threw a wooden ruler to the students today during class. I can easily break somebody's neck today if someone ever stepped on my tail.

Coughing non stop and blocked nose while teaching paralyzed everything and the unlucky students got all the shit load from me today.

Looking at wedding gowns and all this stupid preparation made me feel even worse knowing that I am not in a supermodel size or anything near. Pretty gowns are nothing when you have big arms, big bust, big waist and everything big. All those stupid gowns pun tiada yang murah. Bikin sakit jiwa mau kawin ni. There you have it a bridezilla in the making now. I feel like a female Incredible Hulk today. Just that I am not green but flaming red.

And I just can't recall why I started to take up the challenge of having a no-meat for 40 days during lent. It's only like two weeks to it and I am on the brink of giving up. I am getting bored with fish and since the red tide alarm is still around, its like impossible to eat fish with no worries. Thus resulting in canned food all the time. Urgh!! Without meat in my diet and under pressure now, I feel like eating everyone up, Semua kana marah.

Now my meal will usually consists of eggs, canned tuna, kimchi or some vege and rice.

Saya mau sasau!!!! Huhu. Easter come fast!

Sulky Sunday

Maybe I have started my weekend on the wrong foot. I was kinda feeling extra grumpy today. Its like almost everything irritates me. Or maybe it's just one of those days. Even the bedsheet being very licin pisses me off.

I am still coughing like no tomorrow and my cough syrup has finished. Sang at the choir today and can't help but to sound very nasal and elephant like. Ugh!

And hey, I miss singing so much. I have not done any covers since like November last year. Christmas came and blacked out whole of December and the prepping of new school year and my engagement party blacked out the whole of January and February is running fast after the whole Korean program and school work came like avalanche.

Prepping for a wedding in less than a year is also stressing me out. Practically everything is stressing me out these days. Work (never ending timetable changes), wedding prep, what's life gonna be like if I ever have to transfer. The only method of escapism from all this madness is to indulge in a good song. And just layaaaaannnnnnnn... It has been months since I touched my ukulele too.

I am sad. really sad.

I just want tomorrow to still be a Friday. I hate Mondays!

Himpunan what?!

Shitty Saturday. When one has to wake up at 530am. and leave the house by 6am .. just to register by 7am. As it was stated in the letter.

I am totally un-amused!

And look at the teachers lining up to get the free baju and supposedly "register" their attendance and the registration system wasn't even organised well. People just dont know where to line up and when they just line up they only discovered that they lined up at the wrong queue upon reaching the counters because the labels are small!

They made teachers came from around Sabah to this place on a SATURDAY, EARLY in the morning just to make sure that the VIP won't be alone at the event. Because apparently, if you invite people nicely, NO ONE will actually come to this event. Hmmppph! Bagi duit bah, berebut urang datang tu.

I saw photos of teachers playing games, exhibition and what other nonsense. One photo that amuses me a lot is some teachers playing congkak. WHAT? They take your weekend away from you so that you can play congkak with fellow guru muda. ODOI!

And hello that Mr.Muhyi only came at around 11ish am. Thank God I have left by 830am. I just don't understand this activities done by the "higher" authority these days will always cause massive human queue everywhere.


Hey look here. The BSN in Tuaran. Check out the queue for the people to cash out their BR1M voucher.

Needing the third opinion

Color schemes. Yes, girls think about colors critically more than anything in this world. So, all the girls out there. Help to me to vote for the color scheme for the upcoming celebration.

1) TIFFANY BLUE AND PINK

http://www.elizabethannedesigns.com/blog/2011/08/18/blue-pink-wedding-colors/

2) SILVER AND PINK

http://ajulybride.blogspot.com/2010/09/wedding-motif-silver-and-pink.html

3) DUSTY PINK & GOLD

http://www.theperfectpalette.com/2011/03/sweet-sweet-love-dusty-rose-antique.html

4) PINK & YELLOW

http://www.theperfectpalette.com/2010/03/spring-is-in-air-shades-of-pink-yellow.html

5) PINK & GLITTERING GOLD

http://www.theperfectpalette.com/2013/01/party-palette-shades-of-pink-glittery.html

6) LUSCIOUS RED, PINK & TAN

http://www.theperfectpalette.com/2011/02/happy-valentines-day_14.html

Main tipu kan..semua ada pink juga. Hahaha. Its the color combination bah yang I cant decide. Bah, kalau kamurang numbur berapa kamu suka.

Hello Valentine! ( a back dated post )

This is a backdated post because I forgot to publish it. haha
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A lot has been going lately eh? The whirlwind of the political scene and the invasion of some Filipino militants in east coast definitely has stir different emotions altogether. There was a big fire near the waterfront area lagi today. Whoa. Eventful.

Today is all about love. Love for yourself, your family, your partner, your friends, your pets, your belongings and everything. Haha. Hope you all had and eventful day today. Mine was spent at the netball court today.

Also, a birthday shoutout to my sister Erika. Happy 18th Birthday. Besar sudah oh pula my youngest sister. She is no longer a baby. I remember being 18 and I was already a first year student in uni. Huhu.

Have a happy valentine all! Spread the smile and love to everyone. Everyone deserved to be loved.

Jyeah!

Finally I am down with sore throat and flu. Hurrah! After almost a month of non stop hectic schedule. (Engagement prep+engagement day+Korean visit+netball practice+netball tourney). This is it. This is all my body can take and finally it gave me the signal to take a break.

I am also on a no-meat for 40 days FYI. Cheer me on ok. So far the temptation of meat can be avoided, just don't tempt me with char siew aka sasau. Hoho.

Back to work today, the bluest Monday ever and I harassed my students with unkind words today. Thank God for sweet surprises like this handmade card by the mister. My heart got flower u know. Haha. His handwriting has gotten better. Haha.

Best Birthday to date

Although it falls on Ash Wednesday but it doesn't stop me to have little little birthday parties to celebrate being 28 and as my girlfriends say last birthday time bujang.

Thanks all, I feel so blessed and happy. Usually its always a quite birthday party for me. A cake at home and thats it. But this time around, I felt so happy to celebrate with all my favorite people around. ( Just the Andre is not around - but its okay! ahaha )

Birthday Lunch with the fancy hats and the 2 and 8 candles... It's surreal to see that number. I have stop counting since 25

Another mini birthday party with the Korean students. They are one very hyper bunch. Love the energy, made me feel so young!

And of course, the birthday party with the family. Every year, I surely share my birthday cake with my sister Erika and usually the party will be on the 14th. But since everyone at home today, so we decide to cut the cake today. YEAY!

Oh how I wish I don't have to worry about sagging skin and wrinkles. Anyway, I had a great birthday.  Come next week, this birthday girl has a lot planning to do since this is the last day being bujang. Gah!

Have a great day tomorrow! Valentines day it is!

Reunion Dinner

It's a mixed feeling reunion dinner this year. Knowing that its gonna be the last one for me here back home for next year it will be a different place and different story. Ah, mau nangis! But should be happy also when you can celebrate the season with your other half. Confusing mind situation.

Also plus 3 Korean sisters are celebrating it with me. They will be leaving tomorrow too. So, another mixed feeling situation.
It's quite a taxing week to host them at the school but also will be missing them too.