speak nothing

for words can confuse you. action won't.

so, I am doing my part even if I have to die doing it. So, you people can be happy.

My grandpa versus Justin Bieber

vuvuzela?

syialllll!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha...

jaman spais gerlsss

10 years ago..

LOL..

bikin gali oh ni muka semua. haha.

must do a photoshoot for the present time punya.

*no title*

~ FML...

ok sleeping time now.

what is going on?

In the month of Ramadhan

In the month of our Hari Kebangsaan

In the spirit of 1Malaysia

All of these things are happening....

1) A principal being racist in Johor ( yet many claimed that she was framed )

2) Lots of claiming of halal and non-halal things on product ( a lot of it are just to create chaos, none are true )

3) And the story of this circulating in facebook

I am neither mad nor angry in anyway to the person who started this rumors for being defensive about this is not the solution

Yeah, I understand that people may be confused or misunderstandings can happen. But I plead to the person who started this un-true stories to just STOP

Before we make any conclusion on anything and start spreading lies, just remember to study or at least inquire more information on a certain matter because ignorance on this matter is not bliss.

Imagine the word SIHIR (black magic) can be used to describe the function of holy water.

Oh come on! No matter what religion we have, everyone knows that no religion uses SIHIR.

p.s: clarification on the caption of the picture ( courtesy of Jerry )

Pembetulan kepada si pen'cerita': (COPY PASTE dari kawan) Dalam gambar ini adalah Rev. Paulus Toni Tantiono OFM Capuchin berasal
dari Pontianak Kalimantan Barat dan sedangmengajarkan Kitab Suci di
Seminari Tinggi Permatang Siantar Sumatera Utara ...Indonesia
dan yang dibelakangnya ialah Rev. Fr. Nicholas Stephen ...berasal dari
Penampang Sabah dan sedang bertugas ...di Paroki St. John Tuaran Sabah
sebagai Paderi Paroki. Fr. Paulus adalah dari suku Chinese dan Fr.
Nicholas adalah dari Suku KadazanDusun. Tidak ada satu titik @ dot pun
darah mereka Melayu, apa lagi sebagai Islam...mereka adalah Paderi
Kristian Katolik 101%.

dream catcher

I want this!

I regret for not buying it when i saw one in Spain. I thought that 6 Euro is a waste because I thought its quite expensive

but

but

but

I can't even find one here in KK!

Hari Dua - To inspire & Be inspired

Just updated my teacher's diary. You can read it here. Its just another rambling of mine about some typical things that any high school students might face. Hence, the theme for today is "To inspire & be inspired"

Hehe. My mood today a bit mellow la. Don't know why. It could be too much melancholic music and overdosed with Facebook games.

Tuesday is considered a laid back day at work. And so my remaining evening shall be like that as well. Ah-ha!

Come Wednesday it's chaos again.

It's definitely the calm before the storm.

nataliedee.com

fourth weekend of the month

yeah, we have 5 Sundays this month of August.

So, on the fourth weekend this month ;

I attended Jon Tse's sophomore album launch. At City Mall. I first heard of his first album during my uni time. A friend introduced his songs to me. I pinjam the CD and just rip the songs... Hahaha. Jahat oh kan tidak mau beli.

Anyway, that was history. Now must support local artist. Hehe.

Atama and Alvin performed together with Jonathan during the finale.

Acoustic set for his showcase. He is truly a man blessed with talent to sing and talk to people.

Me and my sisters and JT

So, go and get a copy of his album now. 10 songs. RM30 only.

Me and Samentha.( Jon's gf ) ~Nice to meet you, Samentha!

I really find the whole concept of dividing the songs according to the Faith, Hope and Love theme is so cool!

My personal fave song on this album is La La Love. A beautiful~beautiful song. Its a duet song with Mia Palencia.

On the CD as well there's a bonus MTV on I'm Alive. Cool animation!

So, get your copy of Jonathan Tse's - I'm Alive album now!

a few other blogs

mau patah sudah pinggang duduk depan laptop. mau dakat 5 jam sudah.

anyway, done with all the emailing, paperworks, proposals, letter typing. I am feeling very much like a secretary now.

Weekdays work for government.

Weekends work for church.

So, the two blogs of mine regarding this two "careers" that I have

The Diary -> http://confessions-of-a-teacher.tumblr.com/

MERCY -> http://musical-evangelists-journey.blogspot.com/

working for these two "careers"....

all I can say it is not easy.

vintage ads - cont

vintage style for something new.

am loving the concept!!!!!

cool right?

vintage ads

source

source

source

seriously..

I just can't get enough of these vintage ads...

quirky I might say. Something old but still very powerful.

This SONY ad below was used during the 60s

source

privacy

i think i need to change my mobile number.

i have been using it since uni years until now..so sayang mau tukar

but i hate it when i have anonymous numbers texted me to say hi, to say good night, or just random forwarded sms-es

I have tried my best to maintain the privacy of this personal line.

For business purpose I have another number but I don't really use it now since the online business thingy is temporarily halted.

But this personal line had been misused and exposed by others.

One, is by the workplace. Since we have our numbers printed on paper. It's very accessible to anyone. On one occasion as well, there was this letter of invitation sent out by the school for a project i was handling distributed to almost every learning institution with my mobile number printed on it.

Second, is by the students. I have a strict policy of not giving students my phone number but in certain cases they managed to find it also. DAMN! Should I tell you how they harass you with miscalls, sms-es, calls. ARGH!

Third, is by the church activities. I have my PERSONAL mobile number printed on the pamphlet for church programs which was distributed for the whole of Tuaran. OMG!

And now every now and then anonymous numbers keep on harassing me. Lucky it has become less now.

It was so bad at one point, I have to switch off my phone especially when on holidays when I am out of the country.

I was ON ROAMING for goodness sake!!!!!!

Please la jangan kacau if not important. Punya main sial...mahal bah tu roaming charges.

Do you believe in Hell?

My sister brought this topic up by telling me about the story of Russian researchers had recorded the sound from hell. Curious to know more, we google about it.

Screams of the damned

And hey, hoax or not - it's definitely something very interesting.

Anyway, somewhere along in the google-ing activity I found something way better than the Hell discovery.

Castrati singing

Angelic voice I must say.

Castrati is a group of men called castrato. Okay, at this point you can guess what does castrato means right?

A castrato (Italian, plural: castrati) is a man with a singing voice equivalent to that of a soprano, mezzo-soprano, or contralto voice produced either by castration of the singer before puberty or one who, because of an endocrinological condition, never reaches sexual maturity

So, I guess castration is the only solution to make sure the men's voice tidak pecah..

I just can't believe my eyes when I read the facts about the whole thing. Its even better than the sounds of hell thingy because this REALLY DID happen. Starting from the 1500-1800. They are castrated at the age of 7 to 9. The illustration on how they did it as well.

Speechless.

It was officially banned by one of the Pope only during the 1900s.

Oh my...

and I thought only dogs yang kena kembiri like that.. Kesian oh.

paperwork paperwork

now where's my wand?

Another post awake at odd hours

I wont dare to question God for the reasons of my sufferings, cause I never tried to question Him whenever I feel happy & fortunate.

Gosh - I saw this on my twitter timeline.

Suffering right now? Hmm..not really. As to keep up with the positivity and less pointing fingers to situation around me, I am trying my best to tell myself that I should not expect too much from others.

Joan, remember the 90 percent rule or whatever that it is called. For any occasion or situation, 90 percent comes from how you react on it.

I used to hold on so long to this principle

Expect Nothing and Accept Everything

Yet, this made feel like a loser at all times. Just that on the bright side, I managed to lessen the amount of stress on myself.

I remember the time when I used to attend counselling sessions during uni times, this is one of the things that I should do - to have realistic expectations.

Yeah, secret is out. I hope people won't think me has gone mental or whatever because you know, how skewed the view of our society about counselling.

counselling equates mental illness.

Looking at the calendar, I think its normal to be very moody now. Because I felt like hating everything right now.

And I saw pictures of babies on my friends' facebook page just now, I am sorry but I think babies are scary. Seriously the pictures of them scares me. period. It's the challenge of taking care of them and life with babies are the thing that scares me so much.

On another note, those who are still trying to ask me the bonus question.Bah bila la mau kawin?

..seriously not when I am PMS-ing.

You will get the rude Joan roaring at you.

I bite!

awake at 0120 hours

A few close friend of mine once said to me that my blog is always something very depressing. Then they will ask "are you like stressed out all the time"

The answer is Yes and No.

I appreciate much of the concern and I am actually considering to filter out my posts so that it will be more appealing to be read.

But, this blog also is my best friend. Like right now, this is the only avenue that is here and ready to listen to all my ramblings.

A chat with friends often resulting in a story telling feat which will make me to feel even more frustrated than ever.

These days I need a someone who would listen and never cut me during the conversation. I hate it so much when I was about to pour my hearts out then I got cut by another all-me-no-you stories.

Be it a phone call or a chat online.

What my life is something thats not meant to be shared? What kind of friend are you? Oh wait, I have lost belief on the word friend long long time ago.

And its already 1am plus and I just can't sleep because I really need someone to talk to. :((

Maybe I should start kneeling and talk to the One above.

Diary of A Teacher ( Episode 2 )

I can't help but not to feel haunted by the things I had done to my students today.

Prior to today, I just received a new timetable due to the shortage of teachers for the afternoon session.4 existing classes of maths and a top up of one class of science.

Well, some of my colleagues are being transferred out. So, the burden have to be shared among the existing teachers. Not fairly shared but nonetheless work is work.

Shut up and just teach.

Anyway, back to the story. I was teaching the chapter CIRCLES today and so the exercise given to the students were just to draw circles. DRAW circles. thats it!

Some of them didn't bring their compasses therefore I asked them to share so that the work could be done.

Then, of course there was this group of students who just don't like studying.

So, I just let them do whatever they want. I got so fed up with them that I lose my hope on them. The only thing that I made sure is that they won't disturb the students who really want to learn.

Moments later came the giggles, came the laughter. Tried to tell them not to make so much noise. Asked them to dress appropriately; imagine necktie hanging like a necklace, buttons for shirt is undone, shirts not tucked in, long hair, long fingernails.

It got better for a moment then I saw them keeping their exercise books away. Empty tables and just laughters.

I just can't take it anymore. Boiling point reached.

I tried to maintain my composure to not yell at them and just say calmly, "5 of you, please go out from the class now."

Nobody moved, a smirk and giggles came later.

Uhuhuhu..panas sudah betul2 ni. I repeated the request with hand gestures pointing to the door. Blood rushing to the head.

I took their bags then put it outside the class then shouted to them "OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!"

One by one went out. They grab their bags outside and ran away.

Took a moment to compose myself and explained to the class why I did that.

It was too much for me to handle, I guess its the best to get them out of the class. Before this I had avoided to halau them from my class. The last time this kind of things happen, I brought out all the students who wanted to learn out from the class and I teach them at one of resting area outside the class.

I halau the bad students today because I know its unfair for the good students to get punished for their friends' wrong doings.

Yet, at the same time I felt that I am jeopardizing the future of another 5 students.

SIGH!

I really understand why they are students who hated me so much at this point. But I really do wish that they do know that they are not the only beings with feelings. They have their friends and also their teachers to be think about.

I just hope that they are not THAT selfish. Yet, with the raging hormones and the rebellious phase now. They do not know that.

I can only pray for strength.

Seriously, I am very down now.

Neon

neon pink in the midst of pale white and grey

perfect!

chocolate fix

needing my chocolate fix now. I think that's the only think that can motivate me now.

• i have a paperwork to be done and have been halting it since like 2 weeks ago
• school is not interesting anymore
• my students is the only reason thats making me smile at work these days
• again school is not interesting anymore

coffee session at Starbucks anyone?

Lelaki Itu!

this is playing on the loop on my laptop.. it's SO AWESOME!

Blu Inc Bumper Rewards

dengan muka yang tidak tau malu kami ini...

we got goodie bags!

this really made my day...

HAHAHAHA!!!

free stuff...semua orang suka kan?

camwhore moments

what do you get when you have 3 vain girls at dinner dance party

Glam..

mintapuji-ness

the perfect definition of "girls just wanna have fun" night.

bah. join la kami kio!

All pics courtesy of Flora.

Sanity in movement

Inter-Team Competition ( Imperial Ballroom Dancing School )

It's basically like a school sports day where the students are divided into groups ( colour coded ones )

I am GOLD!!! hehehe. No lah - Yellow Team

Since I am participating, there's practically not much time to enjoy the food. Ugh~ rugi oh!

But I really enjoy the atmosphere. I love meeting new people as well. Somehow, thanks to the language barrier, ada susah sikit la. Huhu.

Anyway, terdapat juga aunty-aunty and uncles yang tetap cergas walaupun sudah melebihi usia jubli perak.

With the bling-ed up outfit. Whoa!!!!

Anyway, me and my partner joined two categories only. Samba and Jive it was.

The verdict:

Samba hancur..

Jive ..hmmm..bulih lah.

Team event ni semua so collect points for teams saja la. No personal wins. Tapi kalau ada hadiah pun tatap kalah ni. Haha.

Bah tinguk video...

who do u trust?

to pour out your feelings and all.

because for me I am always in the monologue with myself because I know people won't understand me.

at this moment, this conflict in my head is in progress.

Should just give up or hang on. Why am I feeling like this. No one to blame because the situation is just not helping.

There's too much at stake. Too many things to let go. Too much pain to bear.

its too much to bear sometimes, maybe I should just sleep it off. And little did I know, this is one of the reasons why I can't sleep at night.

a burden shared is a burden halved. but who do I trust?

the quintessential dress

I am

in love

with them

hearts!!!

gonna do some fabric hunting. spotted one or two somewhere. will buy and send them to my tailor asap. yeay.

ray of sunshine

updates updates. though the weather has been so gloomy. i was being very quite at work today. yet a volcano erupted during class as well. oh, gosh. but at some point, i manage to compose myself and get back into the main business ( teaching )

it rained heavily today...

guess what? my cat came back. gembiranya. everyone rejoiced at home. but he didnt come back to the house actually. my cousin who lives nearby found him.

condition: urm..still unwell. but he is back. at least i can smile again. hopefully he will stay and be better. i am just hoping that this is not his way of telling a proper goodbye for us. noooooooooo..please dont..huhu

anyway, can someone please cheer me up and get me a pink Sony Bloggie. I have always wanted a compact camera and an HD camcorder. And this one is all bundled into one.

Want! Want! Want!

S is for sad

sadness is an emotion.

sunday is just another day of a weekend.

saturday was when a tragedy struck.

sore is what my heart felt now.

I guess anyone who followed me on twitter knew what I have been dealing with for the past few days. Yes, my cat was sick. Really sick and I have been very anxious through the whole process of feeding medicine, the emergency drive to the vet and what not. My cat, Piku, fell ill and .. ( ugh, I just don't feel like telling any stories now )

Traumatic experience for the family. Plus not to mention that yesterday ( also on my tweets ), my uncle and aunt was involved in an accident just near the junction of my house. Blood everywhere and chaos. I remember the sound screeching of brakes then the sickening impact sound. Thank God, they survived but the stay in the hospital and at the sight of open wounds are considered unbearable to some family members. Tears flowed of course.

And still I can't help but not to feel very sad today. Piku has not eaten any solid food since last week and he basically survived on the milk that I ( at some point forced ) feed him. He pleaded to be let out of the house since Friday but I refused given the condition of him. He tried to escape since then. I made a promise to him last night that I will let him go today.

So, this morning, bright and early, he meow-ed loudly trying to get out again. Told my sisters to see him for the last time and off he went to the river behind the house. We followed him, he drank the water from the river and stay there for a while. Meowing loudly at first and we still call his name.

He stayed there for a little while and then off he go to the bushes ( I guess ) . I guess thats the last farewell. With his condition like that and outside like that, most likely he wanted to die without our presence.

As much as I tried to hide my sadness, I finally broke down at this point when I am typing this post.

Goodbye Piku...